Conflict Resolution Mistakes to Avoid

As with financial debt, the best way to keep conflict debt from growing into something unmanageable is by paying it off as quickly and efficiently as possible. To understand why you get into conflict debt, think of financial debt. You get into financial debt when you use credit to buy things you otherwise can’t afford. You want something, maybe even need it, but you can’t pay for it at the time, so you use credit.

How Conflict Avoidance Harms Us

Of course, the causes of conflict depend on the person you are conflicting with and the circumstances surrounding the conflict. Dr. Liane Davey is a New York Times bestselling author and a frequent contributor to the Harvard Business Review. With more than 25 years of experience and a Ph.D. in Organizational Psychology, she’s known as the “teamwork doctor,” having transformed team dynamics for many of the world’s Fortune 500 companies. There’s more on this approach in this article in Harvard Business Review. Here are a few signs that your conflict has turned unproductive. So laying the groundwork for a positive, productive relationship going forward.

• This shows disrespect and, in certain situations, even contempt, while at the same time letting the underlying conflict grow.
• That’s because conflict is part of strategic planning, resource allocation, product design, talent management, and just about everything else that happens in an organization.
• For example, conflict can be an opportunity to share your feelings and become closer to your partner.
• “You’re proposing that we roll out this program first to our high-end customers based on the idea that they are more digitally savvy than other segments.

How To Manage Conflict in Virtual Teams

• Differing personalities and styles may rub each other the wrong way, and differing values may put us at cross-purposes entirely.
• And of course, you have to remember that avoiders are really good at relationships.
• The best and worst thing about working with other people is that we’re profoundly different.
• This outcome can be avoided through active coping but it can be difficult to do at first.

Many people dislike conflict, but in some cases, conflict avoidance can harm your relationships and health. This anxiety might cause you to avoid or sidestep important conversations. During confrontations, you can try to practice anxiety-management techniques. Lastly, when you avoid conflict at all costs, it can also make it harder to create and maintain boundaries.

Why Tension in the Workplace Isn’t a Bad Thing

• If you’re making a case for how wrong the other person is, discounting their feelings, and staying stuck in your point of view, you’re focused in the wrong direction.
• But in many cases, interpersonal conflict resolution could help repair a relationship, to the benefit of all involved, or end it with less pain.
• In addition to a bad upbringing which induced shame and low self-esteem, alcohol only weakens the person’s ability to handle stress and conflict.
• These skills center on getting in touch with yourself and strengthening your communication.

This is perhaps especially true of people who are not familiar with non-violent communication. Maybe they’ve lived a life of knock-down drag-out fights. One reason you might avoid conflict is because you’re avoiding the pain it causes. Did you know that stating or defending an unpopular opinion triggers a similar brain reaction to feeling physical pain? And the pain doesn’t always end once you’ve gotten up the initial courage to voice your concerns or criticism. And so you really need to think about the other person.

Other Types of Coping

They can advise you and even address a situation head-on to prevent it from escalating. When dealing with difficult friends or family members, adding a few boundaries and accepting the other person’s limitations in the relationship can bring some peace. You may even make some relationship resolutions that help ease any tension.

When someone how to deal with someone who avoids conflict violates your boundaries, it might be necessary to reinforce those boundaries by confronting the person. The idea of tackling a stressful situation can feel, at times, insurmountable. That said, taking the first step can make it seem more doable. Taking a small step toward making changes to your behavior will get you headed in the direction you want to go. If you take a bigger step each time, you’ll soon find yourself on a path toward active coping.

• Evidence-based methods like cognitive-behavioral therapy have been proven to help people identify negative thoughts that lead to relationally destructive behaviors.
• Some people find that meditation helps them get into a place where they can be “comfortable with the uncomfortable.”
• Help them help you by documenting your interactions with detailed descriptions of what you experience and time and date stamps on everything.
• Aggressive conflict can be personal and nasty as in the case where people insult one another or refuse to listen.
• That said, taking the first step can make it seem more doable.